Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Game plan: The mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes can be made ahead. Rewarm them just prior to assembling the cake, so they are easy to spread.

If your attention lapses and the marshmallows happen to burn or catch fire while broiling (this actually happened to us), relax and just blow out the flames. Peel away the burnt marshmallows, leaving the sweet potato layer intact, and start over with a fresh topping of marshmallows.

TIME/SERVINGS
Total Time: 1 hr, plus 1 hr baking time
Makes: 8 to 10 servings

INGREDIENTS
For the turkey layers:
Unsalted butter, for coating the pans
2 pounds ground turkey breast
1 cup quick-cooking oats
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated on the small holes of a box grater
1/3 cup ketchup
1/3 cup finely chopped yellow onion
1/4 cup finely chopped fresh Italian parsley
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons minced fresh thyme leaves
1 teaspoon minced fresh sage leaves
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 medium garlic cloves, minced
For the sweet potato layer:
1 pound sweet potatoes
1/4 cup whole milk
2 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/4 stick)
1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more as needed
Pinch ground mace or nutmeg
Peppercorns:Freshly ground black pepper
To assemble:
About 5 cups or 1 recipe Sour Cream Mashed Potatoes, warm
1/2 cup cranberry sauce, such as our Cranberry and Citrus Sauce, chilled, excess liquid drained
2 1/2 cups Sausage Stuffing, warm
1 1/2 cups mini marshmallows
Gravy, for serving (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS
For the turkey layers:

1. Heat the oven to 350°F and arrange a rack in the middle. Coat 2 (8-inch) cake pans with butter; set aside.
2. Place all of the remaining ingredients in a large bowl and mix, using clean hands, until combined (don’t squeeze or overwork). Divide the mixture evenly between the pans, spreading it to the edges and smoothing out the top. Bake until cooked through and the cakes begin to pull away from the edges of the pans, about 25 minutes. Remove from the oven (but leave the oven on) and let cool for about 10 minutes. Using a paper towel, blot away any excess fat from the cake layers’ surface; set aside. (While the turkey cakes are cooking, make the sweet potatoes.)

For the sweet potato layer:

1. Place a steamer basket in a large saucepan with a tightfitting lid. Add enough water to reach just below the basket; bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce the heat to low and gently simmer.
2. Meanwhile, peel the sweet potatoes and cut them into 1-inch cubes. Once the water is simmering, place the cubes in the steamer basket, cover, and steam until the potatoes just give when pierced with a fork, about 20 to 25 minutes. Transfer the steamer basket with the potatoes to a plate; set aside.
3. Discard the water in the saucepan. Place the milk and butter in the saucepan and heat over low heat until the butter has melted. Turn off the heat, add the reserved sweet potatoes and the brown sugar, measured salt, and mace or nutmeg, and mash with a potato masher until smooth. Taste and season with salt and pepper as desired; keep warm.

To assemble:

1. Arrange a rack in the lower third of the oven.
2. Run a knife around the edge of the turkey cakes. Unmold one of the turkey layers and place it bottom-side up on an overturned 8-inch cake pan or in an ovenproof serving dish. With a long knife or offset spatula, evenly spread 1 1/4 cups of the mashed potatoes over the top of the cake, leaving a 1/2 -inch border (keep the remaining potatoes warm).
3. Using the back of a clean spoon, spread the cranberry sauce evenly over the mashed potatoes.
4. 

   turkey cake step4

   Using your hands, gently pack the stuffing in an even layer over the cranberry sauce, using one hand to keep any stuffing from falling off the side. Press gently on the stuffing to make sure it adheres to the mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.

5. Evenly spread another 1 1/4 cups of the mashed potatoes over the stuffing (keep the remaining potatoes warm).
6. Unmold the second turkey layer and place it bottom-side up on top of the mashed potatoes.
7. Transfer the cake pan or serving dish with the partially assembled cake to a baking sheet and bake until heated through, about 30 to 40 minutes (an instant-read thermometer should register 165°F).
8. Remove from the oven and set aside. Heat the oven to broil.
9. With a long knife or offset spatula, evenly coat the outside (but not top) of the entire cake with the remaining mashed potatoes (you may have a little left over).
10. With a clean long knife or offset spatula, evenly spread all of the sweet potatoes on top of the cake. Arrange the marshmallows across the top and gently press them into the sweet potatoes.
11. Return the baking sheet with the assembled cake to the oven and broil until the marshmallows are golden, about 1 to 2 minutes (watch closely so the marshmallows don’t burn). Using two flat spatulas, carefully transfer the cake to a serving dish. Serve immediately with gravy, if desired.

The good news is that I truly outdid myself this year.

The bad news is that I had to take them down after only two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). She was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.

Christmas Decorations

I think I made him too real this time. But it was fun while it lasted

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don’t have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)<

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year.

Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don’t bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.

Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor’s house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can’t happen very often.

Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I’ve given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can’t handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
Source: digitalsurvivors.com

No, Favre didn’t seem to relish playing the villain in his return to Lambeau Field. But it was going to take more than a chorus of boos to throw him off his game.

For the second time in less than a month, Favre sliced up his former team and stuck it to the franchise that cast him aside as the Minnesota Vikings beat the Green Bay Packers 38-26 at Lambeau on Sunday. Despite being jeered repeatedly by Packers fans who once cheered his every move, Favre completed 17 of 28 passes for 244 yards and four touchdowns without an interception
click here to read the complete story

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS:

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS:

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..

NATURAL:

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense  of humor and who can handle it … and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: ‘California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.’

One week later, The Pioneer Press, a local newspaper in Minnesota, reported the following:
After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Embarrass, Minnesota, Ole Olson, a
self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Minnesota had already gone wireless.

2-3 medium size leeks
1 head broccoli
Olive oil to saute veggies above in
sea salt
pepper
6 eggs
1 1/2 c. half n half
3/4 to 1 c shredded Gruyere
3/4 to 1 c shredded cheddar
2 frozen pie crusts

I use the Wholefully Wholesome brand from co-op, regular not whole wheat, already in tins, keep frozen until ready to use

Can use more of one kind of cheese and less of the other depending on preference as long as about a cup of cheese for each quiche.

Take pie crusts out of freezer before starting to prepare quiche. Preheat oven.

Wash leeks, and then slice off and discard dark green part of leek. Then slice into very thin half moons. Wash broccoli and chop in pieces, discarding stem parts. Steam broccoli in small amount of water in sauce pan, until halfway cooked. Drain water and remove broccoli. Saute leeks in olive oil, sprinkle with sea salt and pepper. Add broccoli and cover, until both are done cooking. I undercook broccoli a bit because it will cook more in oven and don’t like it too soggy.

Beat eggs and half n half together until fluffy and well blended. Divide veggies between pie crusts. Top with shredded cheese and toss together a bit in pie crust. Pour egg and half n half mixture over top.
Place quiche on baking dish.
Bake at 375 35-40 mins. let sit 5 minutes before slicing and serving.

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a cat’s Daily Diary…

Day 1,983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the du ration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now……… …….

2 cans (10oz.) Hormel Premium Chuck Breast of Breast, drained
2 packages (8 oz.) cream cheese
1/4 – 1/3 cup pepper sauce
1 1/2 cup cheddar cheese
1 cup ranch dressing

Place the cream cheese is shallow casserole. Microwave on 50% power until cheese is softened, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in drain chicken, ranch dressing, pepper sauce and 1 cup of the cheddar cheese. Sprinkle top with the remaining cheese. Microwave on 100% power for 2 to 4 minutes, until hot and bubbly. Serve with crackers, tortilla chips, and celery sticks. Makes 6 cups, 20 to 24 servings.

Enjoy